147. Light Experiences Resistance Of Darkness
And greater perception also will open to you on your spiritual path and you will see the whole of the environment much deeper. And because of a deeper vision you will start to behave in a different way, not like others around you. And you will behave this way neither to elevate yourselves nor to tease those around you, but rather because this mode of living will become the only natural one, but for those around you it will be beyond understanding and therefore irritating. You have the following saying: “A black sheep.” It is exactly the same sheep yet only because of a different color it is noticeable and therefore disliked.
I tell you this so that you would know that on this path of light, not only bliss awaits you but also resistance on the part of those who will try to take away from you this very bliss which is provided by the Father, and they will threaten to harm you just to get you back to them into the herd of similar sheep, so that you must be in no way different than the other sheep.
The Father leads all and each of you. And He leads all in the same way. Only it is not all that begin to feel His leading. However, after having started feeling it, they certainly cannot continue their former style of living. They do not want to live in darkness any longer when at least for a moment, they felt the taste of light and freedom from ritualistic restrictions when they experienced a living love of the Father himself, they do not really desire to get back to the environment of the previous tension and uncertainty. On the contrary, they desire to share with that environment everything which they experience themselves. Therefore, this type of spreading light, and in love and devotion at that, is that which begins to irritate others who do not yet love others and who are not devoted to goodness and who are still governed by their animal and lower selves.
Thus, you must bear in mind that you will encounter an enormous surf of resistance which will be proportionate to your actions. The more you stride into the depth of a spiritual path, the further away you get from the dark environment, the less you are understood by this environment, the more ferociously it attacks you.
To be able to diminish this offensive you must have a living relationship with the Father, you must keep a living communion and talk with Him in order to receive teachings from the Father as to how to act wisely in every situation when your mind can dictate such decisions which might provoke your environment to still fiercer actions against you. Keep in mind that the Father uniformly loves both you, who have discovered Him within yourselves, and your brethren, who attack you, however aggressive and angry they might be in relation to you. Therefore, the Father’s advice will help you run into a conflict with those who have progressed on a less spiritual path, as little as possible. After some time you also will begin to feel both love and mercy for these brethren of yours who are full of anger. And your attitude to them will change so much that your actions will become milder and arouse less disappointment to your brethren.
It is this that will be your new experience, which will confirm to you that you cannot change others in any other way but by your uniform service to all in love and mercy. You can directly change only yourself by your greater devotion to the Father. I also did it while in the human flesh. My environment was very much unfavorable to me and it tried to press me and to squeeze me into such a framework of tradition and ritual which impeded me in sensing a live bond with the living Father. Therefore I did not resist these rituals, but I would go out by myself to commune with the Father in my own words, in my own thoughts, the way I believed it was possible to commune with Him, as with my living earthly father. And I would talk with the Father every day, and a lot. And it was only after some time that I started to experience that my thoughts were expanded so much that I began to sense that they were not any longer my previous thoughts, they were much purer and much brighter. And when, in addition, I began to feel the waves of love within me, then I started to realize that it was the Father who was speaking to me.
The Father speaks in such a way as to be heard by everyone who sincerely desires and seeks it. And it was this relationship with the Father that was changing me. From a restless child, it was making me into a lad who was vigorous but possessing a deeper outlook, and who started noticing even such acts which had not yet been made by my friends within my environment but which would be made just in a moment. I began to feel a little bit ahead. And that feeling was developed by my relationship with the Father, because it enabled me to foresee the acts of men, only because I began to see their character traits deeper. And knowing the character of a man deeper, one can already foresee an act of this man which has not yet been made but will be made very soon.
You also will experience this. Only commune with the Father, and then you will see such a profound picture of the ambience which you have not seen before. You will see as if the inside of man. You will see the inside of another person so deeply as to be able, unerringly, to say when he is afraid, when he feels anxiety and tension, when he feels peace and bliss within himself. And you will see it without having spoken to this person, and you will see these things even in a person whom you have never seen before. It is such a deep insight into man’s character provided to you by your relationship with the Father, that it will enable you to have better contact with the environment which is not favorable to you. Then you will feel much better as to how much of the knowledge about the Father you might reveal in this environment, how much you might be heard and understood by men who are sincere and seek the Father and His love in this dark environment.
The environment is not homogeneous. You will always find small bright spots on a dark background. It is for these spots that you will shine with your little ray in order to move this other dead little ray out of stasis, in order to show the direction of its seeking to within its own self. And in order that you might set up a mutual relationship quicker, you need this deeper and more insightful vision of the character of this man. Even on your spiritual path it is not so that you accommodate only victories and wins.
The only thing that the Father guarantees you, each of you, is an ever new experience and bliss. Meanwhile doing the Father’s will, you will not be able to impact another person’s will personally in any other way but by your sincerity and by your act of love in service. But not always will it yield the fruits you desire since however much you might see the character of a human in this moment, you must bear in mind that even the strongest, the most resolute character in human affairs, can turn completely weak in divine matters, and where its resolution and boldness are required for action, it can become cowardly and inactive, and where it is necessary for man to enlighten himself, and in a very quiet way and while being alone.
Therefore, do not get disillusioned when the person, who is so enthusiastically listening to you and who seems to you as the one who also might make his contribution to spreading his own ray of light, very soon will shrink himself from this light and will draw back to where this light is not so living and blinding him, where there is a simpler ritual and even a communion with God by already well-known methods.
A spiritual path is the path only of victories for each walking on it, only in a personal sense. However painful experience you accumulate, all the same, it develops you, personally, each of you. And you must comprehend it very deeply. Even your friends or relatives, even your beloved ones who turned away from you develop you and provide you with a chance to climb up ever new peaks of spiritual mountains. There are no defeats on a spiritual path. There is only accumulation of one’s experience on it. And it is not necessarily the accumulation of a pleasant experience which crowns the conquering of the peak. The experience of one’s betrayal and subsequently one’s still greater devotion to one’s spiritual service – to love and goodness – is also the conquering of a spiritual peak; and one of the most meaningful experiences in molding you, each of you, as a son or daughter of the Father.
It is easy to serve where there are many similar loyal children of the Father. However, it requires one’s great faithfulness to the Father to serve in love and mercy where others impede this service, slander and blackmail; and yet, to serve quietly, alone by oneself. But it is even more difficult to serve still more steadfastly when you are betrayed and abandoned by your former fellow-travelers on this path, when they turn away from you and even slander you. It is the highest test of the growth of one’s inner self – one’s faithfulness.
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